What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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