Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
