What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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