is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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