If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
