The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize