shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Randomize