I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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