i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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