I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
