apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize