Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
