If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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