Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Alive.
So much puke
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
