If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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