I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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