god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
