I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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