they need to just BURY HIM!
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
