i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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