Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
