So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize