Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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