I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
