I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
