So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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