have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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