Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
