I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
