this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
