THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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