What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize