Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
