He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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