he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
