it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
