I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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