she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
