U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
