I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
