let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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