yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
