Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
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