idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
i out mim tonsoeep
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
