So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Randomize
