just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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