Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
