omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize