as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
