I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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