I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize