Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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