I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
