Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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