dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
