used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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