I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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