I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
